The Importance of Making Kids Socially Desirable: Building a Foundation for Success

s parents, we play a vital role in shaping our children's lives and preparing them for the world. One crucial aspect of parenting often overlooked is the task of making our kids socially desirable. The ability to interact positively with others is not only essential for building healthy relationships but also a key factor in their overall development and future success.

Importance of making your kid socially desirable - Jordan Peterson

In this video, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of parents' role in making their children socially desirable by the age of four. He explains that many people are unaware that this is a crucial responsibility of parenthood. Peterson describes a scenario where a three-year-old child is taken out in public, highlighting the desired outcome: the child should be able to interact positively with other children and adults. The goal is for children to be welcomed, smiled at, and engaged in play by their peers, while adults should treat them properly.

Peterson warns against the consequences of failing to discipline children or not knowing how to do it effectively. If children exhibit inappropriate behavior, they are likely to face rejection from their peers and receive insincere smiles from adults. This can lead to a world where the child perceives every face as either hostile or deceitful, negatively impacting their mental health and overall well-being.

However, if children learn and adhere to simple rules of behavior, such as not interrupting adults excessively, paying attention, refraining from unnecessary aggression, sharing, and playing properly, they are more likely to have positive interactions with other children. As a result, they will be able to engage in play routines with their peers, which facilitates ongoing socialization throughout their lives.

Peterson emphasizes that primary socialization among children takes place from the age of four onward. If children do not participate in this process early on, they will fall behind their peers. For example, a four-year-old will not play with a two-year-old, and as children grow older, the age gap becomes more significant. This leads to a cycle where socially excluded children are left behind, alienated from their peer groups, and may develop long-term antisocial behavior.

In this blog, we will explore the significance of making kids socially desirable and provide practical insights on how to foster these skills in our children.

1. The Power of Early Socialization: Socialization begins at an early age and continues throughout our lives. By the age of four, children embark on a critical period of primary socialization with their peers. This period sets the stage for future interactions and relationships. By nurturing social skills during this formative time, parents can help their children thrive in various social settings.
2. Building Strong Foundations: Making kids socially desirable involves instilling certain behaviors and values that contribute to positive social interactions. It starts with teaching them basic manners, such as greeting others, saying "please" and "thank you," and showing respect. By modeling these behaviors ourselves, we create a blueprint for our children to follow.
3. Effective Communication: Communication lies at the heart of social interaction. Encourage your child to express themselves clearly and actively listen to others. Teach them the importance of taking turns during conversations and not interrupting. By fostering effective communication skills, we equip our children to engage confidently and thoughtfully in social situations.
4. Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Developing empathy and emotional intelligence is crucial for building meaningful connections with others. Encourage your child to understand and consider the feelings of their peers, teaching them to be compassionate and supportive. By nurturing empathy, we foster a sense of community and cooperation.
5. Conflict Resolution: Teach your child healthy ways to resolve conflicts. Show them how to express their needs assertively and compromise when necessary. By equipping them with conflict resolution skills, we empower our children to navigate challenging social situations with confidence and fairness.
6. Promoting Inclusivity: Encourage your child to embrace diversity and treat others with kindness and acceptance. Teach them about different cultures, traditions, and perspectives, fostering an open-minded and inclusive attitude. By nurturing an appreciation for diversity, we help our children become socially adaptable and respectful individuals.
7. Practice Makes Perfect: Provide ample opportunities for your child to engage in social activities, such as playdates, team sports, or group projects. These experiences allow them to practice their social skills, develop confidence, and learn to navigate different social dynamics. Encourage participation in extracurricular activities that align with their interests, as these can foster teamwork, leadership, and collaboration.
8. Lead by Example: As parents, we are our children's first and most influential role models. Our behavior, attitudes, and social interactions greatly impact our own development. Demonstrate positive social skills in your own interactions, treating others with respect and empathy. By leading by example, we show our children the values and behaviors that make individuals socially desirable.

In an increasingly interconnected world, being socially desirable is a valuable asset that extends beyond childhood. By focusing on developing social skills, empathy, effective communication, and conflict resolution, we equip our children with the tools they need to thrive in relationships, education, and their future careers. Let us embrace the responsibility of making our children socially desirable, nurturing their social intelligence, and setting them on a path to success. Together, we can shape a generation of socially confident, empathetic, and well-rounded individuals.