When Staying With Grandparents Is Not A Great Idea

hen Saaya, moved out of her home with her kid 3 months back. She was not ready to have her own house yet, she wanted to stay with her parents for some time. She thought staying with her parents would help her heal and be better mentally. But what she didn't know is that her decision of living with her parents would turn into a nightmare.

Her mother was not helping by interrogating her about every decision she was taking, from what she was eating to how she was spending her day. It all took a toll on Saaya and created an ideological difference between her and her mother.

Her mother was not very kind to her son as well and often said hurtful things to him. This made Saaya very frustrated and she often got into arguments with her mother. She scolded him for every little thing he did in the house and made him feel like he was not wanted in the house.

There were always clashes between her mother and her son, which led to a lot of fights between her and her mother as well.

Saaya was at her wit's end, she had no idea what to do. She thought of moving out but didn't want to leave her son with her parents. She was confused and frustrated and didn't know how to deal with the situation.

One day her son came up to her and said that he does not hate her grandmother but it seems she is mean sometimes and he does not want to stay with her anymore.

She knew that she had been overlooking her son's feelings and he was not happy living with his grandparents.

Generally, we have the tendency to blame kids, whenever they act out or disobey us. But we forget that they are also human beings and have feelings too. We need to understand their point of view and try to see things from their perspective as well.

Saaya decided to talk to her parents about it and told them that their grandson is not happy living with them and he wants to move out.

Her parents got very angry with her and said some hurtful things to her as well.

She understood that it was not good for her and her son to be in a toxic environment like that but she was happy that she had taken the important steps to ensure her son's happiness.

It is not easy to stand up to our parents, especially when they are older than us. But sometimes we need to do what is best for our children, even if it means going against our parents' wishes.

1. Talk to your parents about how you feel: It is important to communicate with your parents about how their behavior is affecting you and your child. Try to have a calm and rational conversation with them and explain to them how their behavior is impacting you and your child.

Saaya told her parents that her son felt they were harsh to him sometimes and it was not a good environment for him to be in.

2. Stand up for your child: It is important to stand up for your child and protect them from the hurtful words and behavior of your parents. You need to be their advocate and make sure that they are not made to feel like they are not wanted or loved.

Saaya realized that though her son is younger that does not mean he is wrong. So she decided to stand up for him and fight for his happiness.

3. Talk to your child about the situation: It is important to talk to your child about the situation and explain to them what is happening. Assure them that you love them and no matter what, you will always be there for them.

It's important that we create a safe environment for kids so that they can feel free to share their feelings with us. Saaya talked to her son and made him feel comfortable enough to tell her how he felt.

4. Set boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with your parents, especially if their behavior is crossing the line. Explain to them what is acceptable and what is not, in terms of their behavior towards you and your child.

Saaya told her parents that she would not tolerate them being disrespectful to her or her son and she would take necessary action if they didn't stop. She told them that he knows how to manage his studies and playtime and they shouldn't be too harsh on him.

5. Seek outside support: If you feel like you are not able to handle the situation on your own, seek help from friends or family members who can support you.

When Saaya called me I told her that her son needs to feel safe and loved in his own home and if her parents can't provide that then it's time for him to move out. I told her that she should not feel guilty about it and that she needs to do what is best for her son.

6. Stand up for your child: It is important to stand up for your child and protect them from the hurtful words and behavior of your parents. You need to be their advocate and make sure that they are not made to feel like they are not wanted or loved.

7. Take action: If the situation does not improve, even after you have talked to your parents and set boundaries, then you may need to take action. This could mean moving out of your parents' house.

Saaya decided that it was time for her and her son to move out of her parent's house and she found a place nearby where they could stay.

Our kids are being raised in a different time, they have more independence and freedom and we need to accept that. Our parents belong to a different time when kids had to do what they were asked without question.

Though sometimes it hurts that our kids do not share the same connection we had with our grandparents but we cannot force them to love our parents the way we do, but we can stand up for them and protect them from hurtful words and behavior.

There are some issues that may occur when kids choose to answer instead of staying quiet like:

1. Our parents may feel disrespected: It is important to remember that our parents are from a different generation and they may not be used to being talked back to. They may feel like their authority is being challenged when our kids answer back or question them.

2. Our parents may get angry: It is possible that our parents may get angry when we stand up for our kids or when they don't get their way. They may say hurtful things or even physically lash out. It is important to be prepared for this and have a plan in place to protect our kids.

3. We may lose our relationship with our parents: If we choose to take action and stand up for our kids, we may lose our relationship with our parents. They may not talk to us or see us as often. It is important to be prepared for this and have a support system in place.

No matter what the consequences are, we need to protect our kids from the hurtful words and behavior of our parents. We need to be their advocate and make sure that they are not made to feel like they are not wanted or loved.

Saaya had to take a stand and tell her mother that she would not tolerate this behavior anymore. It was tough for her because she loved her mother dearly, but she had to do what was best for her son. She decided to move out of her parents' house.

Now she is happy, her son is happy and they have a good relationship with her parents. They still talk to each other and visit each other, but the boundary has been set. Saaya's son knows that he is loved and wanted, and he knows that his grandparents will not hurt him anymore.