Why Its Not Easy To Let My Son Play Outside?

here's something about the great outdoors that just seems to beckon children. Maybe it's the promise of open spaces to run and explore. Maybe it's the chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Whatever the reason, when parents are told to take their kids outside, it's not always as easy as it sounds.

I lived in an apartment in Chennai where most kids were inside their homes playing video games or watching TV. So I had to find activities for Adi that would get him out. I started with small things like going for a walk in the park or riding his bike around the block. We started going swimming every evening in the summer. This was not possible after COVID, we could hardly use the terrace.

After COVID we shifted to a small town in Jharkhand. It was a big change for all of us. There were no sidewalks to ride their bikes on and nowhere to go for a walk. The town was so small that they had explored every nook and cranny within days. Thankfully we have a big terrace and Adi has a cousin his age, so they spend a lot of time playing together.

Last 8 months we have been staying with our aunt and thankfully Adi found some friends in the neighborhood but slowly I noticed he was becoming more withdrawn. Initially, it was all good but slowly he was getting into fights with his friends, not wanting to go out and play. His friends were teasing him and one of the boys also asked him to join in watching some inappropriate videos on his phone. Adi told me all about it and we had a long talk. I realized that he was just feeling left out and different from the other kids. Thankfully he told me everything and we were able to nip it in the bud.

It's not so easy sending kids outside to play these days. We have to monitor them constantly and be aware of what they are doing and who they are with. With the internet, there are so many things that can go wrong. But at the same time, we cannot keep our kids cooped up at home all the time. They need to socialize and interact with other kids their age. They need to explore and have new experiences. So we have to find a balance and hope for the best.

But I think at the same time let's not force kids to play outside if they don’t want to. Some kids are just naturally more introverted and that’s OK. Let them play inside if that’s what they want to do. Maybe try to find some other activities that they enjoy and get them involved in those instead.

Forcing kids to be part of groups when they are not comfortable with it can do more harm than good. We want our kids to be well-rounded and have a variety of experiences, but at the end of the day, we also want them to be happy and comfortable in their skin. So let’s not force them to do anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Social media and many other resources talk a lot about sending kids outside to play but we need to take into consideration the individual child and what works for them. If they are happily playing inside, then let them be. As long as they are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.
Also, we need to see our society and how it has changed. There are not many parks or open spaces for kids to play in. With the rise in population, there is more congestion and less space to move around. In some places, it is not even safe to let your kid out to play.

Many people argue with me that schools are the best place for kids to play freely and meet other kids but I don’t think so. kids are not even allowed to talk during recess. How is that supposed to be fun for them? They are just sitting around doing nothing. Children have limited time to play outside where they are instructed what games to play, how to play, and when to stop playing.

I have summed up all the experiences Adi had being outside and I hope it helps other parents too:

1) It is not easy to let your kid play outside but it is important for their development.

2) Try to find activities that will get them out and about such as walks, bike rides, or swimming.

3) Be aware of the dangers that can come with letting your kids play outside, such as stranger danger or getting into fights with other kids.

4) Talk to your kids about their experiences and feelings, and be there for them if they are feeling left out or different from other kids.

5) It's important to visit the neighbor's house and get to know the parents of your kid's friends. See the room where kids play and what kind of videos or games they have access to.

6) Most importantly, trust your instincts and if you feel like something is not right, don't hesitate to take action.

We follow many parent bloggers and vloggers living in beautiful countryside and they make it look so easy to let their kids play outside. But we have to remember that every family is different and what works for one may not work for another. You should come and see the narrow streets where we live, it is hard to even walk on the pavement with a stroller, let alone ride a bicycle! It's not that easy for us to take a walk.
Not all suggestions work for all families.
So, the next time you see a parent struggling to let their kid play outside, cut them some slack. It’s not as easy as it looks.

We have to find what works for us and our kids and go with that. There is no one right way to do things, so let’s just do our best and hope for the best.

Trust me I have read Free to Learn by Peter Gray and I know the importance of kids playing outside but sometimes it doesn't work out the way we want it to. You are lucky if you have a backyard for kids to play in or live close to a park. But for some of us, it's not that easy.
I am not saying that we should stop trying to get our kids to play outside but we should also not put so much pressure on ourselves and our kids. If they are happily playing inside, then let them be.

Adi is a kid who loves playing outside but there are times when he doesn't want to go out and play. As a parent, it is my job to find the balance between letting him have his space and making sure he is happy and healthy.
He has found many activities that he enjoys at home, and I need to accept we can do what is in our capacity to make him happy and comfortable.